When someone in your life is struggling with addiction, the emotional impact on you can be overwhelming — and often invisible to others. The daily fear, stress, confusion, and heartbreak can quietly accumulate, affecting every part of your wellbeing. This is not “just stress” — it is often trauma.

Understanding how addiction affects you is essential. So is learning how to protect and prioritise your own mental health, even when your loved one is in crisis.

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Living With Addiction Is a Traumatic Experience

The trauma of addiction isn’t always loud or dramatic. For many family members, it builds slowly over time. You might become so used to crisis, secrecy, or emotional chaos that you begin to live in a constant state of alert.

Common signs of trauma in family members include:

• Always feeling anxious, on edge, or unable to relax

• Difficulty sleeping or eating

• Obsessive thoughts about your loved one’s safety

• Feelings of guilt, shame, or helplessness

• Walking on eggshells to avoid conflict

• Losing interest in your own life, work, or relationships

• Physical symptoms like fatigue, headaches, or stomach issues

This is not your fault. These are natural responses to prolonged stress, uncertainty, and emotional distress. Many family members of people with addiction meet the criteria for chronic or complex trauma — especially when drug debts, threats, or violence are involved.

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Why We Don’t Talk About It

Family trauma caused by addiction is often minimised or ignored. You may feel like you “shouldn’t complain” because your loved one is the one who is unwell. But this thinking causes more harm than good.

You have the right to say:

“I’m not okay either.”

And you have the right to seek support for your own healing — regardless of whether your loved one chooses recovery.

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How Addiction Can Impact Your Mental Health

Being close to someone in addiction can lead to:

• Chronic stress and burnout

• Depression and anxiety

• Post-traumatic stress symptoms

• Relationship breakdowns

• Social withdrawal or isolation

• Loss of trust, safety, or hope

Many family members report feeling as though they are “losing themselves” — consumed by worry, fear, and the constant cycle of crisis.

You may also experience grief — for the person your loved one used to be, or the future you hoped for. This grief is often ongoing and unresolved.

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So How Do You Look After You?

The first and most important truth is this:

You are allowed to care for yourself — even while someone you love is struggling.
Caring for your own mental health is not selfish. In fact, it is the only sustainable way to support others without becoming consumed or broken by the situation.

Here are some practical and compassionate ways to begin.

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1. Acknowledge Your Own Pain

Give yourself permission to say, “This is hard.” You don’t need to downplay your experience. Whether you’re dealing with broken trust, constant worry, or fear for your own safety, your feelings are valid.

Write them down, talk to a trusted person, or speak with a support worker. Your story matters.

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2. Seek Out Support for Yourself

You do not have to face this alone. Services like FASN offer:

• One-to-one support

• Peer-led family support groups

• Trauma-informed counselling referrals

• Practical guidance on safety and boundaries

Talking to others who have walked a similar path can bring incredible relief and perspective. You are not the only one going through this — even if it feels that way.

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3. Create Space for Yourself

Start reclaiming even small pieces of your day. This might mean:

• Going for a walk without your phone

• Saying no to conversations that drain you

• Spending time with friends who support you

• Doing something creative, spiritual, or relaxing

You don’t need huge changes — just regular moments where your nervous system gets a break from the stress.

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4. Set and Keep Boundaries

Boundaries are not punishments. They are essential for your mental and emotional protection.

Examples might include:

• Not answering calls late at night

• Refusing to give money

• Limiting contact during drug use

• Choosing not to tolerate verbal or emotional abuse

It’s okay if setting boundaries feels hard. It takes practice, and support helps.

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5. Learn to Let Go of Guilt

You did not cause your loved one’s addiction. And no matter how much you love them, you cannot fix it alone.

Many families carry guilt — “Did I do enough? Did I make a mistake?”
But addiction is a complex illness. Holding yourself responsible only deepens the trauma. Letting go of guilt is an act of self-compassion.

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6. Watch for Burnout and Know When to Step Back

Burnout isn’t always loud. It can look like:

• Feeling emotionally numb

• Becoming irritable or hopeless

• Losing motivation for anything

• Being constantly tired, even after rest

When you notice this happening, it’s a signal — not of failure, but of depletion. That’s when it’s time to pause, breathe, and get support.

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You Deserve Support Too

At FASN, we want you to know that your wellbeing matters. You do not have to wait until everything is “better” to get help. Whether your loved one is in active addiction, early recovery, or relapse, you deserve care and understanding right now.

We are here to walk beside you, listen without judgment, and help you reclaim peace — one step at a time.

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Get in Touch

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, afraid, or simply exhausted, we invite you to reach out. Our services are free, confidential, and designed specifically for family members like you.

You are not alone.
You are not to blame.
And you are worth looking after.

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